Saturday Nov 29

Oh how monotonous my
present life.

Afternoon at place at factory
waiting for customers who
disappointed me.

All evening with District

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Matt's Notes

I've been wondering, since Papa started selling women's dresses on the side a few weeks ago, whether the dresses came from the factory he worked in by day or if he had an arrangement with some other company. While we don't know if the factory where he spent this afternoon waiting in vain for customers was his usual workplace, this entry does tell us that he was selling directly for a manufacturer and not some other kind of distributor.

Since Papa's Diary Project is, in part, my attempt to spend more time with Papa and revive the feelings I had when I was around him as a child, I find myself annoyed at the people who blew him off and wasted an opportunity to be with him in person. This might be entirely irrational, but no one could blame Papa for being in a bad mood afterwards. Still, the way he chooses to express his disappointment -- "oh how monotonous my present life" -- refers to more than his wasted afternoon, and reminds me of the things he's written during his darkest, loneliest times. It looks like he even sees an evening at the "District" (I think this means the Downtown Zionist Centre at 52 St. Marks Place), where he has lately gone for companionship and to work on Zionist projects, as part of a monotonous routine.

I think this is a worrisome sign. The blues might be lurking.