Sunday Mar 23

this was the most beautiful
day this spring season.

Everything is fine and
beautiful but something
is missing.

Attended in afternoon
the East Side Keren Haysod
meeting with Weitzman at
Cooper Union. Nothing new
excepting the collection of about
$18,000 -- the the fund, and
the presentation to Weitzman
of a $25,000 check by the Comittee.

In Evening I hung around
the Z.Z. with Blaustien, nothing
seems to be able to drive away
my monotony.

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Matt's Notes

Boy, Papa was really in a funk -- he attended an event with Chaim Weitzman himself, saw 18 grand raised for his beloved Keren Hayesod, and still he said it was "nothing new." This would be like me sitting next to William Shatner on a plane, seeing a gremlin crawl along the wing, and later reporting that my flight was "fine."

He had a lot on his mind, though. When he said "something is missing," he might have been talking about the ailing father he hadn't seen for years, the longed-for company of the "20th Century Girl," or, more likely, a little of both. As we've noted before, Papa would take stock of his life with apprehensive introspection at milestones like his birthday or New Year's Eve. And here it was again: The beautiful weather made his melancholy stand out in relief; the world was thawing, but he felt more frozen than ever.

I understand these feelings because I've felt that way myself. But not always, Papa, because this was you and me: