Saturday Feb 16

4:30 P.M.

Am waiting for a friend
since 2 o'clock, just another
little disappointment, Meanwhile
Enjoying radio. --

Attended evening a
party of the White & Blue
Club and addressed them -

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Matt's Notes

I assume the White & Blue club is the same as the Blue & White club Papa mentioned in an earlier post. (Then again, maybe they were rival organizations, locked in a bitter Talmudic feud over whether the colors of Zionism were "blue and white" or "white and blue.")

A couple of days ago I speculated on Papa's personal disappointments and whether they affected how his family, co-workers or activist colleagues perceived him. I don't think so, or at least not much. To be around Papa was to be on the receiving end of genuine empathy, of the instinctive, effortless way he worked to to make things better for everyone. And people who accept such attention -- whether as a gift, a kind word, or a heartfelt talk -- tend to admire and appreciate the giver, not to wonder what they might need or if they might indeed need anything.

In short, I think Papa, who was outwardly generous and focused on his causes, looked to others like he had his act together. I don't think the people he spoke to about Zionism at the Blue and White club would have known how he spent the earlier part of the day, how a "friend" had kept him waiting for two-and-a-half hours, or if his "friend" was a woman he hoped to spend the afternoon with, or how cold a comfort the radio was while he sat by himself in his "awfully lonesome" apartment. I don't think anyone would have asked.